Quiet

I have to admit, I am not up for writing much today. My grandmother is near death and I am just overwhelmed with thoughts of her, on traveling to CA, on what my mom is going through, and tons of other things. My grandma has always been a quiet person. She never spoke much but when she did it was so powerful. She is a very moral person, very kind, very generous, very sweet. She loves Jesus with everything that she is.

Three years ago her Alzheimer got so bad that she needed to be put in a nursing home. That was tough to say the least.  About 18 months ago I visited her for the last time. She didn't recognize me. This was the grandma who lived with me since I was 5! She didn't know who I was. A stranger? A friend? Someone who works at the nursing home? She didn't know. She was nice to me but she was cold in that she didn't have the warmth of a grandma to her granddaughter.


I am sad. I don't want to go. I have never gone to funerals. At least to none who have been close to me. Is that bad? My sweet grandma. For decades I called her "Haji Maji". It was a joke between us that does not need revealing here. Suffice it to say, that is what encompasses so much of our relationship. Two made up words that have meant so much for so long that really no one else will ever fully understand but was such an intimate connection between her and I.

I love my Haji Maji. I know as with the birth of my children and the newness they bring, that at some time I must also face the reality of the end of life and that seems to be coming quickly. I am not ready. No one ever is really but right now, I am really not ready. I am gonna sit and be quiet.

What can you do?

Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.  ~John Wooden

My wonderful husband, like most husbands, struggles on what to do to show me he loves me. He wants to take me on a wonderful vacation and buy me jewels, days at the spa, flowers and candy etc but with 2 kids and a mortgage those things often take a back seat to the realities of life (sometimes so does a shower but that's a different posting all together!). He gets flustered (poor guy, I love you!) but what I always tell him, don't worry about what you can't do right now, focus on what you can do. Sometimes he gets it, sometimes he doesn't. Meaning sometimes he makes a spa appointment forgetting we haven't gone grocery shopping and sometimes he just rubs my hands and feet (hint: that is ALWAYS a good idea).

When you think about it, we often focus on what we can't do which does nothing positive in our life. Instead if we focus on the positive, on what we CAN do, we can accomplish so much more because our energy is focused on something useful and purposeful. Plus, we see success which in turn breeds ore success. This takes our conversations within our minds into a positive direction and that is good for the soul. 

What can you do today? For some it may be climbing that huge mountain, but for most, it may just be walking around the block. What about focusing on an action plan then taking even just one small step in that plan? Followed by another one tomorrow.   


What can YOU do today? Where can you focus your mind and heart on to find success instead of what you can't do (right now!)? Keep focused on that and you may be surprised that the desires you had will suddenly come into view.

Be Still and Hear Your Heart Song

The world can be a crazy busy place. Pulling us in different directions with the infamous "should" syndrome. You should do this, you should do that, you need to do this, you need to do that.

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Be quiet will ya?

Can you hear your heart song? Can you hear the melody of your life? Can you hear the direction it is drawing you in? If you can't then be even quieter. Be more still. Listen more not to the chaos outside, but to the peace inside. It can be hard I know.

Listen.

What is it saying? Where does your heart want to take you to that your mind is fighting?


I was putting the kids down for a nap after I had just confronted someone I was doing business with that (in a nutshell) was wanting me to work REALLY hard to grow her business and all the while I was only gonna see a small percentage of MY sales. Yeah that was not gonna work so I left. I came home to where my heart is. It sang to me! The most beautiful song. To be home. To be the teacher and care taker of my babies. Oh how my heart sang! Why do we drown out that beautiful song for the loud noise of SHOULD? Oh what has this world come to?

Can you imagine if even for a day we all did what made our heart sing? What would life be like? Listen to your heart, feel the rhythm and dance that song! Dance the song of your heart. What joy! What love! What beauty!

Go today and be still and find that song; then live it!

Let it Rain

Speak Kindly was started as a way to remind ourselves that the words we speak should be of good use to our soul. I came across this quote that I thought it really exemplified the essence of my mission:

Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a (wo)man's growth without destroying (her) his roots.  ~Frank A. Clark

 

I have so often heard women criticize themselves to the point of destruction. Between the messages from the media and the messages from our own mind, women can be battling a war in their minds and in their hearts while “putting on a happy face”. No one is perfect, we can all agree on that. We all have room for improvement so long as that improvement is self generated and self nourishing. I urge you to really allow this quote to pour over your soul, let it wash away the bad, let it nourish your greatness. Breathe. Rest. Repeat.