Rules...

I was surfing the net and I came across a quote that got me thinking..."Integrity has no need for rules" - Albert Camus

How many times have we questioned if we should do something, if what we were doing was right? How often have the words "should" come out of your mouth or gone through your mind? Probably more than you can count, I know more than I can count for myself. Should is a reflection of a rule. If you live with integrity, if you live in that space that has clarity, you "shouldn't" have to do anything because you will be doing what you need to be doing.

What comes to mind for me is taking my kids to the park. They LOVE to play (as most kids do) but I get so wrapped up in business and house stuff that sometimes, no often, those things that I value are de-valued because of my action/inaction. I was putting together an online album (had a coupon was about to expire) and as I was looking at the pictures of my kids my heart swelled with love for them but also sadness at my own shortcomings. If I lived with integrity I would not need a rule in my life about taking the kids to the park, I would not say "I should" instead of doing laundry. I would hold true to my passions and my values without question.

So what is the plan? Simple, discipline. Yeah I know everyone hates that word but when you really think about it, it is one of the best words because when you have the discipline then you have the boundaries, you have the clear line in which you can live you life with integrity. Giving into the distractions take away from our integrity, take away from the discipline and thus create a need to create an excuse.

Next time you find yourself coming up with an excuse or something you SHOULD do, as yourself if you are living with integrity. If you are, celebrate, if not, then look back to the first sentence! =)

Be Blessed!

Postponing Fear

We often look at people who are successful and wonder how they do it and with the same breathe kill our own dreams with fear talk. This quote reminds us that we are capable of reaching our goals, we just need to stick around a few more minutes (ok, maybe a little more than 5 minutes!),

A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

So how do we get passed the “fear talk”? I mean really…it’s easy to fall into that trap and HARD to get out of. As I have grown my business there are been some very tough times (and lots of tears!) but people don’t see that, they see the results of those sleepless nights worrying, and all the sacrificing that took place. Here are a few things I have learned about those extra 5 minutes:

1.       Acknowledge your fear, think about where it came from, and decide to not let it stop you.

2.       Be true to who you are. Make every step a reflection of who you are, your values, and your passion.

3.       Focus on the results, think big, and hold onto the goal; even when its by the smallest thread.

4.       Don’t give up. Never give up. Ever.

Fear will suck the life out of all that it touches, including you! Be brave and hang on those extra five minutes. Next time fear comes knocking on your door, yell through the door that you will be five minutes late!

Worry?

People get so in the habit of worry that if you save them from drowning and put them on a bank to dry in the sun with hot chocolate and muffins, they wonder whether they are catching cold. - John Jay Chapman

This has long been one of my favorite quotes because it reminds us, in a humorous way, how we have been trained to focus on the negative, to worry about things instead of looking to the blessings that surround us. We worry that we may not be good enough, that we are lacking in skill, knowledge, beauty, money, or whatever. What is the greatest tragedy is that we miss the treasure that is within us, that we are already equipped with, that we can use to be the blessing we seek to be or achieve that goal that is burning in our hearts. When I sink into worry I find it helpful to do the following:

• Calm down & breathe
• Dismiss the thoughts but acknowledge the feelings
• Spend some time reflecting on other times I have worried myself
• Focus on alternatives or options that I may have and see if they are viable
• Breathe (did I mention that already?)
• Ask myself what this situation will be like once I get past it
• Breathe, studies have shown when we are stressed we hold our breath. Make sure you are breathing!!
• If there is action you can take, take it. If nothing can be done at the moment, make it a point to postpone your focus on it for a later time
• When you get through whatever you were worry about (or when what you feared didn't happen) spend a few moments to debrief yourself about your thoughts, emotions, actions, and inactions. It will help you in the future when other situations come up.

And if the first quote didn't get you laugh or thinking about how useless worry is in our lives...maybe this will make you chuckle!

Worry is as useless as a handle on a snowball. - Mitzi Chandler

Be blessed and remember to always speak kindly, especially to yourself!