Forgiveness

Life can sometimes hammer you. There can be lists of things that need to be done that wreak havoc on your life. You need to forgive yourself for setbacks and celebrate the progress. The last week and a half have been rough for me. We have had a print deadline that has caused me to be up for nearly 24 hrs a number of days in a row (meaning only naps). Everything has gone to the wayside in pursuit of this deadline.

The kids found a red crayon (thank God it is the new washable kind) and managed to color our entire white buffet, the kitchen floor, and parts of the walls. I felt like Cinderella on my hands and knees FINALLY able to clean late last night. That aside, the house is a DISASTER, I have not made it to the gym (oh the confession!) and I have eaten way too much to stay awake. Can you hear me beating myself up? It’s crazy not only in reality but in the words going on in my head.

Breathe.

Life goes on.

Time out for a little haiku

My hiney hurts me bad

Full is my belly, oh my, yes

Speak kindly to me

I feel better….sorta.

So all this chaos for what? My husband and I have taken a complete leap of faith and have put all our money, time, and heart into our new business. Talk about living on the edge. I am scared, I am stressed, I have faith. Instead of listening to all the “should’s” in my mind, how about I listen to all the people who have come up to us and said “this is a great idea, we so need that here in San Antonio” or how about all the amazing people that have no reason to help us but they do because they believe in what we are doing? Toes on the edge, holding my husband’s hand, my breath, and onto God.

Rules...

I was surfing the net and I came across a quote that got me thinking..."Integrity has no need for rules" - Albert Camus

How many times have we questioned if we should do something, if what we were doing was right? How often have the words "should" come out of your mouth or gone through your mind? Probably more than you can count, I know more than I can count for myself. Should is a reflection of a rule. If you live with integrity, if you live in that space that has clarity, you "shouldn't" have to do anything because you will be doing what you need to be doing.

What comes to mind for me is taking my kids to the park. They LOVE to play (as most kids do) but I get so wrapped up in business and house stuff that sometimes, no often, those things that I value are de-valued because of my action/inaction. I was putting together an online album (had a coupon was about to expire) and as I was looking at the pictures of my kids my heart swelled with love for them but also sadness at my own shortcomings. If I lived with integrity I would not need a rule in my life about taking the kids to the park, I would not say "I should" instead of doing laundry. I would hold true to my passions and my values without question.

So what is the plan? Simple, discipline. Yeah I know everyone hates that word but when you really think about it, it is one of the best words because when you have the discipline then you have the boundaries, you have the clear line in which you can live you life with integrity. Giving into the distractions take away from our integrity, take away from the discipline and thus create a need to create an excuse.

Next time you find yourself coming up with an excuse or something you SHOULD do, as yourself if you are living with integrity. If you are, celebrate, if not, then look back to the first sentence! =)

Be Blessed!

Postponing Fear

We often look at people who are successful and wonder how they do it and with the same breathe kill our own dreams with fear talk. This quote reminds us that we are capable of reaching our goals, we just need to stick around a few more minutes (ok, maybe a little more than 5 minutes!),

A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

So how do we get passed the “fear talk”? I mean really…it’s easy to fall into that trap and HARD to get out of. As I have grown my business there are been some very tough times (and lots of tears!) but people don’t see that, they see the results of those sleepless nights worrying, and all the sacrificing that took place. Here are a few things I have learned about those extra 5 minutes:

1.       Acknowledge your fear, think about where it came from, and decide to not let it stop you.

2.       Be true to who you are. Make every step a reflection of who you are, your values, and your passion.

3.       Focus on the results, think big, and hold onto the goal; even when its by the smallest thread.

4.       Don’t give up. Never give up. Ever.

Fear will suck the life out of all that it touches, including you! Be brave and hang on those extra five minutes. Next time fear comes knocking on your door, yell through the door that you will be five minutes late!

Worry?

People get so in the habit of worry that if you save them from drowning and put them on a bank to dry in the sun with hot chocolate and muffins, they wonder whether they are catching cold. - John Jay Chapman

This has long been one of my favorite quotes because it reminds us, in a humorous way, how we have been trained to focus on the negative, to worry about things instead of looking to the blessings that surround us. We worry that we may not be good enough, that we are lacking in skill, knowledge, beauty, money, or whatever. What is the greatest tragedy is that we miss the treasure that is within us, that we are already equipped with, that we can use to be the blessing we seek to be or achieve that goal that is burning in our hearts. When I sink into worry I find it helpful to do the following:

• Calm down & breathe
• Dismiss the thoughts but acknowledge the feelings
• Spend some time reflecting on other times I have worried myself
• Focus on alternatives or options that I may have and see if they are viable
• Breathe (did I mention that already?)
• Ask myself what this situation will be like once I get past it
• Breathe, studies have shown when we are stressed we hold our breath. Make sure you are breathing!!
• If there is action you can take, take it. If nothing can be done at the moment, make it a point to postpone your focus on it for a later time
• When you get through whatever you were worry about (or when what you feared didn't happen) spend a few moments to debrief yourself about your thoughts, emotions, actions, and inactions. It will help you in the future when other situations come up.

And if the first quote didn't get you laugh or thinking about how useless worry is in our lives...maybe this will make you chuckle!

Worry is as useless as a handle on a snowball. - Mitzi Chandler

Be blessed and remember to always speak kindly, especially to yourself!

 

Love Hurts?

I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.  ~Mother Teresa

I saw this quote and it took me awhile to grasp it. Mother Teresa was such a profound woman! I think this quote resonates with me on the parenting level. My daughter is 3 1/2 going on 13 and she is a DIVA! With that "diva-ness" comes some harsh words that cause me pain. I love her through my pain. She kicks me when I try to change her, bath her, or a myriad of other things. I love her through my pain. I suppose as a mom, I loved her so passionately before  she was born and even more so through the pain of birth that I love her even more. Loving her can be painful, but love overcomes that pain. The more I love her, the more I cherish her, the more I break through the pain and experience love...her love.


How do you love through the hurt?

• Seek compassion first, love is close behind
• Trust the greater good of love, it will prevail
• Embrace the beauty of humanity, it displays its true self
• Seek not to change the person or the situation, seek to change yourself and your actions and see what happens

So how does this quote apply to this blog? Simply....love yourself through the hurts in life. No matter what it is, no matter the challenges, the failures, the difficulties. Even when it hurts...love yourself and equally important, accept your own love. As you do, you will find that at the end of the day love is reflecting back at you in the mirror.

Be Blessed....